the Informant

Appears in 83 episodes, first in episode 216.

Every appearance

• Episode 363 - Old Farts and Old Ducks

  No stats segment this week. Oliver Spake thanks the Informant as a longstanding supporter of the podcast and reminds listeners they can still get the midweek stats for the parkrun day just gone at www.theinformant.me.

• Episode 343 - Favourite Things

  The weekly unofficial stats. Australia and New Zealand had 501 combined events out of 1,894 worldwide; down under there were 2,280 first timers, 103 junior 10 milestones, 190 50s, 132 100s, 49 250s and one 500. 214 people increased their Windex, 39 their I-Index and 39 called Bingo. Eight people became statespeople for the first time, five in the NT (Melanie, Lily and Ava Ralph, David Lee and Rafael Yazik), one in the ACT (Damien Keddie) and two in Queensland (Janine and Brendan Sellers). State wars totals: 49 South Australia, 12 Victoria, 11 Tasmania, 9 Queensland, 7 New South Wales, 3 to Broome in WA; across the ditch 15 have completed the North Island, 46 the South Island and 15 both. Five joined the Peel Club (Peter Black, Roger Millett, Lynn Black, Matt Butler, Chris Lind) and two the Oberg Club (George Lewis, Holly Stewart).

• Episode 311 - Green Eggs & Snoods

  The Informant appears in character on a beach, tracked down by a delivery boy from the Channel 2 News Crew carrying an envelope from Mel asking him to record the Obi announcement, "I'll have a large car [carton] of milk waiting for you when you get back to the office." He signs off the award with "Good man, Oliver. Cheers to that."

• Episode 307 - Cops & Robbers

  A short post-outro sketch rather than a stats rundown. An unnamed character spots the Informant, addressed here as "Beige Man", at a race: "Oh no, please don't tell them I was here." Asked why he left the pod and where the intern is, he says "I really can't say. I've got to go. Just don't say anything", and the sketch ends "Well, that was weird."

• Episode 306 - King Gizzard

  The Informant is absent again; Melissa Ellis reads a stand-in stats rundown "leeched from Dazza's and any of the other social media posts". Covers the Broad Park (NZ) launch, alphabet-challenge letters for Bec Bailey, Roberta Winters, Bill Ober and Sarah Jefferson, Darwin added to the Aussie Pioneers Club as the Northern Territory's first event, Fibonaccis for Christine Imbert and Calum Burrell, and Abigail Jackson's 25th volunteer purple shirt.

• Episode 304 - Let Us Entertain You

  The segment is thrown to but never plays, after a long silence Ollie says "Mel, no informant." The hosts speculate (was the car in the car park? has the caramilk gone from the bar fridge? any emails from HR?) and Mel delivers "my abridged version of the stats" instead. The closing skit resolves it: the Office Lady finds a resignation note, "We're gone, Office Lady. Out of here... The debacle over Ollie getting all the caramilk at the last stupid harbour front was the final straw. We'll keep publishing our spreadsheets on theinformant.me, but we're not coming to level two with a view that isn't even that great anymore. Try having fun without us."

• Episode 302 - Lined Up

  Unofficial stats for parkrun day 10 September 2022: 459 events down under (420 Australia, 39 New Zealand) out of 1,703 worldwide; ANZ attendance 40,491, up 1,200; six launches; 4,696 PBs and 1,917 first-timers down under; milestone counts; 20 people called bingo; quickest and slowest statespeople; 13 statespeople; most-events and wIndex movers; Adventure Challenge inductees. Bonus stat requested by the ideas man Bruce: nine people are "pioneers" who have completed the original parkrun in each Australian state. Signs off "my spreadsheet is full of caramel goodness". Mel thanks "our millennial informant this week... as opposed to the boomer who tricked us last week and passed over his duties".

• Episode 301 - Thumbs Up

  Weekly unofficial stats: 448 events down under (409 Australia, 31 New Zealand) of 1,755 worldwide; five launches including Whakatane Gardens; 33,221 participants; 1,482 first-timers and 4,004 PBs; milestone counts; six new statespeople; most-events and biggest-mover tables; Brendan Peel heading the index table; Adventurers Club joiners.

• Episode 300 - Tricentennial

  Weekly unofficial stats: 457 events down under (419 Australia, 38 New Zealand) out of 1,765 worldwide; attendance 39,255; five event launches including Beaufort Lake in Victoria and Lake to Lake Trail in New Zealand; 4,951 PBs and 1,769 first-timers; milestone counts; a record 31 people called bingo; six new statespeople; Wilson Index, I-Index, Cow Club and half-cow movers. Signs off "my spreadsheet is bigger than yours".

• Episode 299 - Buzz Buzz

  The weekly unofficial stats rundown, "coming to you live from Level 2 with a view": 451 events down under (418 Australia, 33 New Zealand) out of 1,766 worldwide, attendance 37,091, 4,608 PBs, 1,527 first-timers, one UK launch. Milestones, 21 bingo calls, 12 new statespeople, top-20 movement (Jim Woodruff, Kathleen Wellington, Tony Jennings), biggest mover Simon Nash up 45 to 127, Cow Club inductees Joanne Blackbourn and Amanda O'Reilly, and a revamped I-Index rebranded the Intern Index (biggest mover Nathan Castle). Signs off "my spreadsheet is more revamped than yours."

• Episode 298 - Not Flat

  Unofficial stats: 448 events down under (411 Australia, 37 New Zealand) out of 1,755 worldwide; attendance 33,003 down under out of 186,000 worldwide; no event launches; 3,701 PBs and 1,270 first-timers; 67 Junior 10s, 150 fifties, 96 hundreds, 24 two-fifties; 17 people called bingo. Ramesh Deepwal quickest on 159 events, Peter Daly slowest on 318 runs. Eight new statespeople including Laura Lee Evans (ACT), Whitney Keller, Adrian Pritchard, John and Catherine Fielding (NT), Michael Jones (SA), plus Paul Greenwood and Helen Smith completing South Island NZ. Tony Jennings up to equal 16th on the most-events list after Tamworth Wetlands; Ian Shaw and Jamie Laurent up 8 spots each on their 88th different event; 173 people lifted their Wilson Index, biggest mover Neil Percy up 44 to 151, then Steve Harris up 34 to 215 and top of the Queensland rankings. Adventurer Challenges: Kelvin Grivel and Melissa Klein inducted to the Peel Club, Anne Rayner to the Cow Club.

• Episode 297 - The one when Mel sings

  Weekly unofficial stats: 450 events down under (413 Australia, 37 NZ) out of 1,753 worldwide; attendance 35,376; launches at Bells Parade (Tas) and Limemark Playing Fields (UK); 4,010 PBs; milestone counts; eight new statespeople; movers on the Wilson Index ("windex"); three Poole Club inductees. Extended bonus explainer on the "i-index" - the event-launch-order equivalent of the Wilson Index, first raised in episode 226 - with Neil Barnett topping the list on 20. Signs off "my spreadsheet is bigger than yours" and points to theinformant.me.

• Episode 296 - Hot and Gold

  Weekly unofficial stats from "Level 2 with a view": a record 459 events down under, 424 in Australia and a record 1,771 worldwide; Aussie/NZ attendance 35,864 out of 194,000 worldwide; four Australian launches (Frank Keenan Reserve, Nantu Wama, University of Western Australia, Westbury Town Common); 4,260 PBs; milestone and bingo counts; new Statesmen (Mike Scott, Roger Wilson, Rebecca Edgecombe completing New Zealand); biggest movers Marilyn and Bradley McCann and Wendy Glen; an Oberg for Arno Micini and a Cowell for Wendy Beckhouse at Warrandyte River Reserve. Includes running jokes at the hosts' expense ("crickets still waiting for Melissa and Oliver") and at Sam's.

• Episode 295 - Aidan Hobbs

  Both Informants appear. 444 events down under ("a double Ritchie"), down 11 on last week; 36 in New Zealand, 1,756 events worldwide, Aus/NZ attendance 32,049 of 193,000; one launch in the United States; 3,338 PBs and 1,183 first-timers; 63 junior 10s, 151 fifties, 92 hundreds, 19 two-fifties; 26 called bingo. New statespeople Tao Tan (ACT), Michael Giles (NT) and Jeremy Porter (SA). Brian Hardy reached equal 19th on most Aus/NZ events with Melissa Ellis; Garth Clee the biggest mover, up 60 to 108. Adventure Challenges: Neil Harvey joins the Peel Club, Nicole Hay the Cow Club, 12 more complete half-cow.

• Episode 294 - the new U

  Weekly unofficial stats, back after the running "industrial action" gag. 455 events down under (37 NZ, 418 Australia) out of 1,749 worldwide; 34,594 Aussie/NZ participants out of almost 189,000; seven launches including Umbagong District in the ACT; 3,852 PBs; 1,391 first-timers; milestone counts including one person becoming the third Australian to reach 500. Simon Maxwell quickest and Gary Steffen slowest to bingo; Philip Coldwell the biggest overall mover; Heather Gee the biggest Wilson Index mover; Marge Sinclair joins the Peel Club and Arno Panichi and Vivian Henderson the Cow Club.

• Episode 293 - Hackers

  Melissa Ellis throws to it "now, Ollie, it's time for us to listen to our informant", and the stats read runs- from "Level 2 with a view". 438 events down under (37 NZ, 401 Australia) out of 1,730 worldwide; 34,002 Aussie/NZ attendance out of almost 188,000; four launches (Canada, Germany, Ireland, Norway); 3,670 PBs and 1,375 first-timers; 77 Junior 10s, 174 fifties, 107 hundreds, 23 two-fifties; 22 bingos; Todd Osmond-Dreyer quickest on 153 runs, Natty B slowest on 375; 12 new statespeople including Sarah Jefferson at Kununurra; Neil Scott up to equal 13th on 140 at Welka; Christine Taylor the biggest Wilson-index mover; "Former host Scotty Trickett also cracks the top five"; five half cows and Samantha Howe's 100th at Henry Kendall Reserve claiming cow. Interleaved with the episode's industrial-relations/Caramilk running gag, including an in-character jab at the hosts: "I see Melissa Ellis and Oliver Spake have not completed their bingo yet. Hmm, that's not very productive."

• Episode 292 - Floods, Cows & Milkshakes

  The stats segment continues its running industrial-relations storyline - the office is still on strike over full cream milk and a daily caramilk, with dissent in the ranks over almond milk, so only a limited report is delivered. Stats: 433 runs down under (37 NZ, 396 Australia, many lost to the East Coast rains), attendance 26,730, one UK launch, 3,275 PBs, 1,032 first-timers, 60 junior 10s, 131 fifties, 81 hundreds, 23 two-fifties, 19 bingos. Scott Pelto quickest on 171 runs, Ruth Taylor-Hull slowest on 328. Twelve new statespeople. Alan Burrell up one to equal 14th on 163 events, Brian Hardy debuting equal 20th on 149, and "the boss" Melissa Ellis to outright 19th on her 150th different parkrun. Vicki Thompson and Steve Amor up eight to 172; Tricia Griffiths the biggest mover, up 24 to 38; 93 lifted their Wilson Index; nine half cows, no Peels and no cow clubbers.

• Episode 291 - Because

  Returns after a break with a scripted workplace-industrial-action sketch about demarcation, Caramilk and almond milk, then delivers deliberately "restricted" stats: 452 runs down under out of 1,709 worldwide, Aussie/NZ attendance 36,370, 4,515 PBs, 1,403 first-timers, 23 bingos, 9 new statespeople, and three Cow Clubbers (James Rees, Janice Whittle, Jacinta Marriott). No p-index or wind-index report "due to industrial action".

• Episode 287 - Rhubarb Lemonade

  Delivered on the road from Tarcutta on Wiradjuri Country instead of "level 2 with a view", and repeatedly derailed by Caramilk chocolate (a running Cadbury-sponsorship gag flagged in the show notes, ending "This has been the caramilk, and my caramilk is caramilkier than yours"). 445 events down under (408 Australia, 37 NZ), 1,744 worldwide, ANZ attendance 36,903, three launches all in the UK, 4,773 PBs, 1,641 first-timers, Jim Collard the second Australian to reach 500, Taryn Johnson quickest bingo caller, Jackie O'Brien the biggest Wilson Index mover, and four new ACT statespeople including "the boss, Melissa Ellis".

• Episode 286 - 99 Apfelsine Blätter

  The Informant returns after missing the previous week with COVID (which left ep285 with a music filler in this slot). 437 events down under, down 9; 400 Australia, 37 New Zealand; 1,710 worldwide, down 47; Aussie/NZ attendance down 8,363 to 29,823; worldwide attendance down 19,000; two launches, Japan and South Africa. 3,958 PBs, 1,265 first-timers; 57 Junior 10s, 127 fifties, 73 hundreds, 28 two-fifties; 12 bingos; Carolyn Southwell quickest on 172 runs, Tanya Ritchie slowest on 301. 13 new statespeople (nine ACT, three SA, one Victoria). Neil Scott to equal 15 on the most-events list after his 160th location at Port Sorell; Russell Waugh up 10 to 176 on his 93rd event. 85 Wilson Indexes, biggest mover Lorraine Mayfield up 23 to 62. In the adventurer Challenges: no Peels, two cow clubbers (Danny Rigoni, Fiona Edmonds), one half rein and five half cows. He then admits that his opening comparisons were against two weeks ago "on account of the sickie last week" and declares it intentional.

• Episode 284 - The Very Very Best Day

  Full stats read, 00:32:37-00:37:09. 446 events held down under (up one, a post-COVID record): 409 in Australia, 37 in New Zealand, plus three freshly returned Singaporean events, making 1,757 worldwide (up 36, also a post-COVID record). Australia/NZ attendance 38,186, down 45; worldwide around 207,000. Five launches - Elliott Heads Beach in Queensland plus single launches in Germany, South Australia, the UK and the US. 5,110 PBs down under and 1,594 first-timers; 81 Junior 10s, 184 fifties, 113 hundreds and a record 32 people reaching 250. 27 people called bingo (Chris Williams quickest on 141 runs, Jeff Buchan slowest on 299). New statespeople in the ACT (Mary Craig, Debbie O'Donoghue, Matt Robbie, Jenny Tsar, Imogen Taylor), NT (Mitch Martin, Anne Marie and Nathan McDonald), SA (Jane Hassel, Troy Helbers) and Victoria (Sarah Gee). Neil Scott to equal 16th on 158 locations at Ginninderra; Kathleen Wellington to equal 11th on 169 at Chelsea Bicentennial; Paul Graham up 10 to 240. 176 people lifted their Wilson Index, biggest mover Meg Littler (up 28 to 64), and Cindy Robins debuts on the Victorian top 10. Adventurer Challenges: Nicole and Andrew Hay joined the Peel Club; three cow clubbers; two half Freynes and 15 half cows. Interrupted mid-read (00:35:19-00:36:13) by a comic sketch in which an unnamed colleague raids the office for craft supplies to decorate Mel's fine jar and leaves with whiteboard markers, rubber bands, an elderly Mars bar and some tape.

• Episode 283 - Eman Vergara

  Weekly unofficial stats: 445 events down under (up 7, a post-COVID record), 408 in Australia and 37 in New Zealand out of 1,721 worldwide; attendance down more than 9,000 to 38,186. Two launches, including Jindabyne Sport and Rec (NSW). 4,512 PBs and 1,591 first-timers, plus milestone counts. Bingo callers, New States people, Wilson Index movers (Joanne Dan up 15 to 38; Julie Reynolds up 10), and Adventure Challenge results. Notes Melissa Ellis debuting at equal 20th in the top-20 Aussie/NZ events list. The hosts remark afterwards that the report was "back to a very beige and very plain" delivery - the show notes call it "The Informant returns to normal programming".

• Episode 282 - Cass Castleton

  A deliberately short "light" edition answering fan mail from Bruce Purdy on which state has the most alphabeteers: 358 runners have completed the alphabet, Queensland 212, Victoria 61, NSW 58, ACT 9, SA 8, Tasmania 4, NT 3, WA 3. Six parkrunners got it first at the launch of Zillmere (Greg McLaughlin, Russell Johnson, Carolyn McLaughlin, Samuel Hardy, Aaron Hardy, Michael Schultz), with Neil Barnett a week later and Brendan Peel the week after. Nobody has done it in the minimum 25 runs or in alphabetical order; the quickest is 27 runs, by Victorians Eric and Christina De Silva. The hosts note afterwards the report was oddly truncated and wonder if he is off his game.

• Episode 281 - Hoppy Easter

  Weekly unofficial stats: 438 events down under (up 17, a post-COVID record), 402 in Australia and 36 in NZ out of 1,687 worldwide; attendance up ~7,500 to 47,344; two launches (Austria and the UK); 5,627 PBs and 2,579 first-timers; milestone counts; 22 people called bingo (Janet Murray quickest on 172 runs, Manfred von Appen slowest on 348, an Australian record); new statespeople Maria Babler (ACT) and Michael Evans (NT); Pete Oosthuizen completed the South Island; biggest Wilson Index mover Tracey Leeper; and three new Cow Club members.

• Episode 280 - Breakout

  Weekly stats read, 'live from Level 2 with a view'. Opens with an office story about re-re-gifting the beige man's Easter chocolate while Ollie is off sick. Four junior parkruns, 333 juniors (down 26), 63 first-timers, 76 PBs, 10 half-marathon and 3 marathon wristbands. 421 5k events down under (385 Australia, 36 New Zealand) out of 1,670 worldwide; 39,801 attendees down under, 186,473 worldwide. Five launches including Chaffee Park (NSW), Myponga Reservoir (SA) and Russell Park (NZ). 4,630 PBs, 1,868 first-timers, milestone counts, 28 bingo calls (Karen Potter quickest on 146, Alan Field slowest on 439, a record for Australia). Five new Statespeople, Wilson index movers, and 12 new Adventurer Club members. Signs off "my spreadsheet? Well, it's not as beige as some."

• Episode 279 - Phil Gore

  Weekly stats rundown, delivered in character from "Level 2 with a view", this week the view is inside the office, with a dig at the "new lady" updating her whiteboard with Insta and Facebook likes. 3 junior parkruns, 359 juniors (up ~130), 72 first timers, 74 PBs; half-marathon wristbands for Callum Turbett, Charlotte Davies, Lachlan Kelly and Tessa Billen, a marathon wristband for Atticus Caesar. 413 5K events down under (381 Australia, 32 NZ) of 1,673 worldwide; attendance up ~1,500 to 37,882 locally and 184,036 worldwide. Seven launches including Charters Towers Airport (QLD), Karoola Park (NSW) and Werribee Park Mansion (VIC). 4,973 PBs, 1,640 first-timers; milestones, 19 bingo callers (Martin Fleming quickest on 153 runs, Nigel Kleinschmidt slowest on 313), five new statespeople, and the return of the adventurer stats, Mark Lawton to the Peel Club, Gillian Light to the Cow Club. Signs off "my spreadsheet is fully restored."

• Episode 278 - Goldilocks

  Played as a two-hander this week ("The Informants are back"), opening with an office argument about the new lady in the kitchen throwing out unnamed yoghurt. Stats: three junior parkruns, 225 juniors, 32 first timers, 61 PBs, with half-marathon and marathon wristbands named. 423 5k events down under (394 Australia, 29 New Zealand) out of 1,679 worldwide; attendance up 671 to 36,377 of 200,073 worldwide. Nine launches including Jarrahdale Heritage (WA) and Warrandyte River Reserve (Victoria). 4,868 PBs, 1,458 first-timers, 149 fifty milestones, 105 hundreds and a post-COVID record 31 people reaching 250. Fifteen called bingo. Three new ACT statespeople: Stephen Jackson, Jennifer Arnold and Bianca Keane. Running gag over "Windex" versus the Wilson Index, ending with the spreadsheet being accidentally overwritten.

• Episode 277 - Stumped

  The Informants return to the office after last week's no-show, bickering about who was on leave and whose fault it was ("Ollie signed the form, but my fault he didn't check the dates properly"). Junior parkrun: 3 events, 263 juniors, 50 first-timers, 40 PBs, plus half-marathon, marathon and ultra wristband recipients. 5K: 396 runs down under (up 29), 382 in Australia and 14 in New Zealand, out of 1,638 worldwide; ANZ attendance down about 300 to 35,706; 197,852 worldwide; two launches (Pambula Wetlands NSW and a UK event); 4,582 PBs; 1,400 first-timers; milestone counts; 18 bingo calls (quickest John McShane on 180 runs, slowest on 302); 10 new statespeople; Robin Wishworth to equal fifth on 186 different parkruns; 80 people lifted their Windex, biggest mover Cindy Wu; one new Cow Club member, Matt Rashke. Ends with a squabble over who has to do the sign-off.

• Episode 276 - Mooving On

  The Informant is absent, so the segment is delivered by a stand-in after an office skit (Mel hands over a login, "Password is Pulsar91", a spreadsheet and a statscript, and the stand-in demands theme music). "This is not the informant. It's Abi's mum." Abbreviated stats, Australia and New Zealand only: 367 events in Australia and 14 in NZ, 38,722 participants, 5,300 PBs, 1,706 first-timers; 106 junior 10s, 168 fifties, 105 hundreds, 22 two-fifties; five new statespeople (Martin Rocks, Joe Reinhardt and Andrew Denny in the ACT, Chris Nettle in SA, Graham and Vanessa Fairbrother in Tasmania); a post-COVID record 29 people called bingo; Tyron Jarman quickest on 114 runs and Reece Eberhardt slowest on 306; 82 moved their Wilson index, Peter Baraglia the biggest mover (31 to 81); Selina Ward and Bryce Davies joined the Peel Club; Sarah Gee and Claire Thiel joined the Cowell Club.

• Episode 274 - Johan Duvenhage

  Stats rundown from "Level 2 with a view" with the office empty: five junior events, 319 juniors, 64 first-timers; 423 runs down under out of 1,405 worldwide; 5,674 PBs; five new statespeople; Peter Sutton the biggest windex mover, up 22 into second on the ACT leaderboard; two new Cow Club members. Last week's quiz answer was 132 and Bruce Purdy won with a guess of 150; this week's question asks how many of those Peel Parkies have also run in both islands of New Zealand. This speaker also closes the episode.

• Episode 273 - Falling for You

  In-character stats rundown "live from Level 2 with a view", opening with a complaint about being told off by Mel for being unprofessional. Junior numbers (five events, 307 juniors, wristband milestones), then 422 runs down under out of 1,731 worldwide; three launches, Hamilton Park, NZ, Grace Point (South Africa) and Forfar Loch (Scotland); 5,534 PBs; milestone and statespeople counts; bingo callers; movements in the most-events and Windex rankings; and a cheeky aside to Mel about driving to the Northern Territory. Announces the answer to last week's Cow Club quiz (137 in Australia and New Zealand) with Wendy Glen the winner on 147, and sets a new question: how many parkies have completed the Peel Club by running an event in each Australian state. Signs off "my spreadsheet is even bigger than before."

• Episode 272 - Ercan Boduk

  Stats rundown delivered in character from "Level 2 with a view", opening with a nod to being told off the week before: "I got a bit of a dressing down from Oliver and Co last week, so this week we're all about business, being professional and boring stats." Junior parkrun wristbands, 410 events down under out of 1,689 worldwide, 4,858 PBs, milestone counts, bingo, new statespeople, most-events rankings and Windex movers. Introduces a new sub-segment, "Adventurer Clubs", celebrating new Peel Club, Cow Club and Freyne Club members (six Cow Club 100th-event runners this week). Signs off "my spreadsheet is even bigger than before."

• Episode 271 - Arise

  The Informant's weekly unofficial stats, delivered in character from "Level 2 with a view", this week the view is darkness because he was stuck working back late, and he blames "Oliver and the beige one" for stitching him up. 405 events down under (395 Australia, 10 New Zealand) out of 1,640 worldwide; attendance 40,520; two launches including Oaklands Estate Reserve in South Australia; 3,941 PBs; 1,894 first-timers; milestone, statespeople, most-events and V-index movers; plus the junior parkrun wristband rundown. Signs off "Laters!"

• Episode 270 - The only way is up

  Weekly unofficial stats for parkrun day 22 January 2022: 437 events down under (403 Australia, 34 New Zealand) out of 1,733 worldwide; attendance 40,666 against a post-COVID record 224,000 worldwide; four launches including Lewis Park Reserve, Victoria; 4,087 PBs and 1,990 first-timers; milestone counts; 17 bingo calls; four new statespeople; Errol Poole claiming outright fifth on the most-events list with 182; Linda Doty the biggest Wilson Index mover, up 28 to 36.

• Episode 269 - Criminal Intent

  Weekly unofficial stats for parkrun day 15 January 2022: 434 events down under (a post-COVID record), 39,488 Aussie/NZ attendance, seven launches, 3,709 PBs, milestone counts, 15 new statespeople, top-20 most-events movers and Wilson Index climbers. He runs a four-letter-event-name quiz (Nui, Roma, Sail, Bega, Lota, Kirra), awards a virtual Mars Bar to Quizmaster Simon Mackley for pointing out Frankston isn't the longest parkrun name, and two to "Adjudicator TOC" for the short-name/long-name technicality that lets him dodge a retraction.

• Episode 268 - Geoff Glaab

  Return after a holiday break ("The spreadsheet has rested and we're glad to be back"), with stats blended across the last three weekends. Ten runners worldwide ran a time of 20:22 on 1 January 2022 (8 UK, 2 Australia). For 8 January: 418 events down under out of 1,566 worldwide; attendance 34,132 of 164,700; five launches. Feature stat: Australia now holds the three longest parkrun names - Glasshouse Mountains Conservation (34 letters), Leighton Sport and Recreation Precinct (36), and now Frankston Nature Conservation Reserve (37). 2,743 PBs, 1,622 first-timers, milestone counts, 13 bingo calls (Caroline Kramer quickest on 181, Jeff Cooper slowest on 314), six new statespeople, and 293 people lifting their Wilson Index. Ollie apologises for forgetting to introduce him.

• Episode 266 - Tinsel Time

  End-of-year stats wrap. Post-COVID records for global runs held and for global 50/100/250 milestones; 382 runs in Australia (up 74) out of 1,669 worldwide; three launches (Poland, South Africa, UK); Australian attendance 33,765 out of 167,037 worldwide. 17 people called Bingo. Four new statespeople: Selina Rambour (ACT), Leonie Butler (NT), Linda Coffey and Darren Young (Tas). Movement in the top-20 most-events list (Errol Poole, Kathleen Wallington, David Messenger, debutant Neil Schultz) and a 94-place Wilson Index jump by Ian Craxer. Signs off for the year, "that's a wrap for Stats Year 2021", with a comic exchange with an unnamed sidekick about a Sudoku puzzle book and an ice cream.

• Episode 265 - Advance to Go

  Weekly unofficial stats: post-COVID records for global runs held and global 100 and 250 milestones. 308 runs in Australia (up 5) out of 1,574 worldwide; three launches (one Germany, two Russia); Aussie attendance 25,640 out of 150,158 worldwide; 2,534 PBs and 735 first-timers. 17 people called bingo. Seven new statespeople across the ACT, NT and SA. Brian Hardy debuts at equal 20th on the most-events list after his 139th different event at Murray Bridge; Anne Rayner the biggest overall mover; Wilson Index movers Jane Luke and Sue Wilkes.

• Episode 264 - Home & Away

  Post-COVID records for global runs held and global 250 milestones. 303 runs in Australia (up 12) out of 1,572 worldwide; three launches - Nathalia Showgrounds (VIC), one in South Africa, one in Russia. Vorkuta City Park detailed as the world's most northern parkrun, on continuous permafrost. Aussie attendance up 1,363 to 26,502 of 151,252 worldwide; 2,373 PBs; 964 first-timers; milestone counts; 17 bingo callers; 11 new statespeople; top-20 and Wilson Index movers. Closes with a German-anniversary special: 45 events, 2,469 runs, average attendance 41, 23,368 athletes, 101,522 finishes.

• Episode 263 - Obi - 100

  Pre-recorded unofficial stats segment. No records this week despite Victoria's return, blamed on bad-weather cancellations in Australia and the UK; 291 Australian events (up 68) out of 1,314 worldwide (down 207); no launches anywhere; Australian attendance up 3,621 to 25,139 out of 109,429 worldwide; 2,293 PBs and 812 first-timers; milestone counts; 18 people called bingo (Tom Gallagher quickest on 175 events, Tim Edwards slowest on 342); five New States people; David Messinger moves to 15th outright on the most-events list after running at Homestead; Roger Millett the biggest Wilson Index mover, up 15 from 10 to 25. Signs off claiming a PB for shortest stat report.

• Episode 262 - All the good things

  Weekly unofficial stats, delivered in character. International post-COVID records for runs held, participants, and 50 and 100 milestones. 223 runs in Australia (up 10) of 1,521 worldwide across 18 countries; four launches including Copper Trail at Kadina SA and South Beach Recreation Reserve in Fremantle WA, plus one each in Japan and the UK. Aussie attendance 21,518 (up 371) of 183,522 worldwide. 2,093 PBs, 698 first-timers, 46 junior 10s, 118 fifties, 75 hundreds, 14 two-fifties. Six people called bingo (Ken Miller quickest on 195 events, Jason Gardner slowest on 273). Three new statespeople: Jacinta Marriott at Coombs and Mark Everton at Mount Ainslie (ACT), Christine Timms the 14th Tasmanian. Nathan Castle up one to equal 12th on 153 events; Natasha Littler biggest mover on the Wilson Index. Signs off with the Victorian relaunch lifting his spirits.

• Episode 261 - Back in the ACT

  Weekly unofficial stats: 213 runs in Australia (up three, helped by the ACT's return) out of 1,508 worldwide across 18 countries, six launches, Aussie attendance up 2,581 to 21,147, 2,316 PBs, 728 first timers, milestone tallies, 11 people calling bingo, seven new statespeople, and movements on the most-events and Wilson Index charts. Extended riff on Canberra being 'the most dull city in Australia... a veritable rainbow of grey', then a data check on whether NSW tourists swamped the ACT return: 612 runners this week against 1,124 on 19 June, showing not a jump in tourists but a slump in locals.

• Episode 260 - The Wild Card

  Weekly unofficial stats, delivered this week by a stand-in who says the usual occupant is 'otherwise disposed' chasing a Mr Whippy van. 210 runs in Australia (down 4) out of 1,414 worldwide across 18 countries; five launches; Aussie attendance 19,883; 2,171 PBs; 622 first-timers; milestone counts; ten people called bingo; and the standout, no new statespeople at all this week, 'nobody around here can remember that happening before'.

• Epsiode 259 - Hailing TOC

  Weekly unofficial stats in character. 214 events in Australia (up 3) out of 1,404 worldwide across 18 countries; 4 launches (Austria, Germany, 2 UK); Aussie attendance up 408 to 21,266 of 152,507 worldwide; 2,184 PBs and 686 first-timers; milestone counts; nine people called bingo (Tammy Taylor quickest on 164 events, Sean Mountie slowest on 255). Five new statespeople - Christopher and Nizza Doering, Naomi Hermawan, Neil White and Denise Brent in the NT, Mark Finlay in SA. Kevin Muller up one to equal 15th on most events; Steve Bennett, Tanya Bennett and Lou Streets up 10 places to 161; Wilson Index biggest mover Nick Smith (0 to 37), then Bridget Hewittson-Bevis (124 to 152, and into first place on the Queensland rankings). Signs off with the blog plug and "my spreadsheet is bigger than yours".

• Episode 258 - Richard McChesney

  Unofficial stats in character. A record post-COVID week: 211 events in Australia out of 1,440 worldwide across 18 countries; nine launches including Anstey Hill Recreation Park in South Australia; Aussie attendance 20,858 of 174,751 worldwide; 1,974 PBs; 755 first-timers; 98 fifty-milestones, 61 hundreds, 18 two-fifties. Eight people called bingo, one new statesperson (Robert Gilroy, NT), Neil Scott now 19th outright, Graham Tutte biggest overall mover, Alison Jones biggest Wilson Index mover.

• Episode 257 - Cottesloe Consults

  Weekly unofficial stats. A record post-COVID week globally: 205 events in Australia out of 1,409 worldwide across 18 countries; six launches (Fodder Forest and Glenoma in Queensland, Homestead in WA, one in Germany, two in the UK); Australian attendance 20,842 of 173,003 worldwide; 2,026 PBs and 799 first-timers; 59 Junior 10s, 101 fifties, 52 hundreds, 8 two-fifties. 12 people called bingo (David O'Brien quickest on 159 events, Vincent Naylor slowest on 306). Three new statespeople. Neil Scott enters the top-20 most-events list at 19th; biggest overall mover Martin Hawkins, up 14 places; 423 movers on the Wilson Index, biggest Indra Siva (0 to 6). Answers Bruce's follow-up on where the 15 Peel Plus members come from.

• Episode 256 - X Factor

  The Informant returns after several weeks off following a spreadsheet meltdown and a "big capital upgrade" at the stat hub, trailed earlier in the episode by his Facebook comment about funding it with recycling refunds and Pokemon sales. Stats: 1,398 events worldwide across 18 countries; 209 in Australia; Australian attendance 21,035 of a post-COVID record 172,930 worldwide; 2,027 PBs; 739 first-timers; milestones (51 junior 10s, 87 fifties, 61 hundreds, 20 two-fifties); 19 bingo calls, quickest Elaine Gregerk on 161 events, slowest Nikki Plimmer on 411; two new statespeople (Natasha Lankowski and Elvin Lee, NT); biggest Wilson Index improver Sarge Jameson; and a Peel Club update requested by Bruce, 122 all-states parkrunners, 45 of whom have run in New Zealand, 15 across both islands, first being Tim Oberg on 15 August 2015.

• Episode 252 - Jenny Blow

  Weekly unofficial stats, delivered in character. The spreadsheet "has burst its seams" and needs a migration project. Global events hit a post-COVID record of 1,292 including the return of Ireland and seven launches (Denmark 1, Germany 1, Ireland 2, Poland 1, UK 2). 254 events in Australia (up 45), New Zealand still on a break. AU/NZ attendance up 3,000 to 21,282 of 164,627 worldwide. 2,566 PBs down under, 721 first-timers. Milestones: 51 junior 10s, 101 fifties, 68 hundreds, 12 two-fifties. Nine people called bingo, Greg Edwards quickest on 158 events, Eric Velvick slowest on 356. Two new statespeople, Will Rolfe and Mick Cruz (NT). No movement in the top-20 most-events list; biggest overall mover Elaine Rogers, up 18 to 222. 46 increased their Wilson Index, biggest "Windex" mover Alan Raven, up 27 to 62. Special listener-requested report on the Alphabeteers: 264 in Australia, 9 in New Zealand, Queensland 140, Victoria 54, NSW 53, SA 7, ACT 5, WA 3, NT 2, Tasmania none.

• Episode 251 - Tokyo Tales

  A catch-up fortnight of stats delivered in character from "Lockdown Central", leading with junior parkrun after several weeks of neglect: three junior events, 291 finishes, 33 first timers, 110 PBs and seven half-marathon milestones. Globally a post-COVID record 1,176 events with six launches; 209 runs in Australia with New Zealand still paused; 18,231 Aus/NZ attendance out of 162,861 worldwide; 2,249 PBs and 577 first timers. Five people called bingo (Karen Langdon quickest at 180 events, Carrie-Anne Berlin slowest at 314), three new statespeople, and movement in the top-20 most-events list. Signs off with a jab at the previous stats presenter ("Mr. Harry Highpants") and the blog address theinformant.me.

• Episode 250 - The Story So Far

  A 250-themed stats report for the milestone episode. 10,741 parkrunners worldwide have 250 or more runs, 1,551 on Australian soil and 119 in New Zealand; Rob Allen was slowest to 250 (833 weeks, first at Bushy Park #45, 250th at Bushy #835 on 24 July) and David Bull fastest (235 weeks); 45 people have run at more than 250 locations, two at 250 Australian locations, and 3,781 have run the same event 250 times. Week that was: 1,156 events in 17 countries, 210 in Australia, New Zealand still paused, six launches (Netherlands 1, Poland 2, Russia 2, UK 1), Aus/NZ attendance 17,513 of 162,776 worldwide, 2,289 PBs, 542 first-timers, milestone counts, eleven bingos (Brenton Parker quickest on 184 events, Kylie Mui slowest on 324), six new statesmen all from the Northern Territory, plus movers on the most-events and Wilson Index lists. Signs off thanking hosts past and present and promising to be back for the 500th.

• Episode 249 - Becky Maybury

  A deliberately abbreviated stats report - "Under orders from Mel just to get it done" because of the Renee Gimbert interview. 1,171 events in 17 countries; four launches (Sonsbeek in the Netherlands; Grove Fields, Sandy Water and Torvean in the UK); 18,429 Aussie/NZ runners of 158,227 worldwide; 2,276 PBs and 527 first-timers down under; milestone counts; six people called bingo (quickest Samantha Jo Leonard in 197 events, slowest Lorna Davin in 344); five new Statespeople. Signs off "This has been The Informant and my stats report has been abbreviated."

• Episode 248 - Bird is the Word

  Weekly stats rundown delivered in persona from "my study with a view" (this week a staring possum). 1,143 events in 18 countries, 220 in Australia and 34 in New Zealand; Austria joins the parkrun family with 1; six launches in five countries; 17,218 down-under participants of 157,500 worldwide; 2,147 PBs and 623 first-timers; milestone tallies; seven people called bingo (Joshua Seabird quickest at 142 runs, Jarrett Minogue slowest at 265); four new statespeople all in the Northern Territory; David Messenger the only upward mover on the top-20 Aussie/NZ events list after running Toowoomba; 45 new Wilson Index claims with Peter Berry the biggest mover.

• Episode 247 - Caitlin Adams & David Crook

  Weekly stats rundown, opened with a comic scene-setter about Paul sliding into the adventurers' Monday Zoom "wearing nothing but socks and undies singing into the TV remote" doing the Tom Cruise Risky Business. Stats: 1,041 runs across 17 countries, 191 in Australia and 34 in New Zealand; Finland returned with 2 and South Africa with 23; UK 545. Three launches, Patawalonga River (SA), Horsepath and Woodgate Valley Country Park (UK), and Park 850-letiya Moskvy. 16,553 Aussie/NZ runners out of 136,914 worldwide, 2,034 PBs and 591 first-timers. Milestones, nine bingo calls (Madison Chippett quickest on 164 events, Darren Hill slowest on 331), 15 new Statespeople, and Alison King becoming a North Islander and Countryman. Signs off pointing listeners to theinformant.me.

• Episode 246 - Faster, Higher, Stronger, within reason

  Weekly stats delivered in character after the jingle, opening with a riff on the Olympics ("So many boring sports... what's with the cycling? They remind me of a bunch of seagulls"). 1,099 runs across 14 countries, 25,407 runners down under out of 151,764 worldwide (up more than 21,000), 3,186 PBs, 841 first-timers, milestone counts, 14 bingo callers (Tim Shannon quickest at 133 events), 16 new regionnaires, three launches (Manzola in Italy; Garbag Forest and Stories Field in the UK), plus an admission that the Windex numbers may be wrong this week. Signs off pointing to The Informant on Facebook and theinformant.me.

• Episode 245 - Dan Buckley

  Weekly stats in character, opening with a riff on being made to watch Mother and Son on ABC iView ("It was like a documentary about beige trousers"). 1,014 events across 12 countries with the UK back at 525; four launches (Ecco Ripley QLD, Ulitsa Golubaya Russia, Chilton Fields UK, Danny E Park USA); 129,177 runners worldwide, up almost 95,000 on last week; 17 people called bingo, quickest Anna Reid on 162 events; three new States peoples; Dave Blakey the biggest mover and Scott Trickett named as the biggest faller on the most-events list.

• Episode 244 - Sarah Hudson

  Weekly stats rundown delivered in character from "level 2 with a view", opening with a businessman dropping six coffees. Juniors: 3 events, 160 participants, 21 PBs, 26 first-timers, six half-marathon milestones, no marathons. 5K: 537 events across 10 countries including 7 in Germany on its return; 23,134 Aussie/NZ finishers of 34,344 worldwide, 2,311 PBs, 656 first-timers; launches at McLeans Beach (NSW) and Sportpark Rems (Germany); 13 bingo calls (Kasey Pearce quickest at 158 events, Rosemary Goodrick slowest at 354); new states-people Mary Ann Bustede (ACT, at Ginninderra) and Paul Griffiths (NT, at Palmerston). Signs off "my stats report is like a six-pack of jam doughnuts after 30 seconds in the microwave."

• Episode 243 - Weekend Work

  Weekly unofficial stats report,-. "Going rogue" without a script: a rundown of the six Australian Junior 2k parkruns and their wristband milestones, then global figures, 594 events in 9 countries, 30,238 Aussie/NZ runners of 41,954 worldwide, 3,396 PBs, 1,035 first-timers, one launch at Peace Valley (USA), 22 bingo calls, 8 new statespeople, 74 WIndex increases. The hosts note that the segment was dropped in during post-production because they recorded on a weekend.

• Episode 242 - Dog Assisted

  Weekly unofficial stats from level 2 with a view: 559 events across 9 countries, 307 in Australia and 34 in New Zealand, with France welcomed back with 8 events; four launches (Dorset Recreation Reserve VIC, Sherwood Reserve NZ and two in Poland); 25,034 of 36,382 worldwide runners in Aus/NZ, attendance down 7,700; 2,815 PBs; milestone counts; 15 people called bingo (Jane Tully quickest at 158 events, Noah Sullivan slowest at 315); nine new statespeople, all from the ACT; movements on the most-events and Wilson Index lists. The read repeatedly breaks down into on-air bickering with the hosts about calling France "the Frenchy Froglegs" and about "beige trousers" putting bad stuff in the stats.

• Episode 241 - Toolern Creek

  Weekly unofficial global stats rundown, thrown to. Highlights: Northern Ireland back with 28 events and 87 Victorian events back from "COVID exile"; 665 events worldwide, a post-COVID record, up 111 on last week; 46,132 participants worldwide, 32,709 of them in Australia and New Zealand; one launch at Magnitogorsk Eco Park, Russia; 20 people called bingo (Glennis Frizzell quickest on 159 events, David Legg slowest on 341); seven new ACT Territorians; Andy Mears completed the South Island at Dunedin; biggest movers Ed Wilson, Mark Hibbard and Bridget Hewardson-Bevis. Running joke this week: the character is rebranded "the Informant the Second" after HR ruled the intern had to be made permanent, and she has been promoted to "Level 2 with a view".

• Episode 240 - Raw & Uncut

  Weekly unofficial stats report, and this week a handover: the podcast's "intern" character takes the Informant role over from the previous incumbent, who bickers with her throughout ("You're not the informant." / "I am now."). Stats: Denmark returns with 7 events, 309 in Australia, 32 in New Zealand, plus Japan 13, Poland 71, Russia 66, South Africa 28, USA 23 and 5 in UK territories, 554 events worldwide, a post-COVID record, including four launches. Aus/NZ attendance 29,919 of 38,566 worldwide, down ~3,000. 3,855 PBs, 879 first-timers, 72 Junior 10s, 160 fifties, 90 hundreds, 23 two-fifties. 17 called bingo (Colin Bridge quickest at 165 events, Yvonne Gruber slowest at 290). Five new ACT Territorians; Neil Barnett becomes the second Queenslander alongside Michael Schultz. Biggest Wilson Index movers Bea Sykes and Tanya Farmer, up seven each.

• Episode 239 - Quack Quack

  Weekly unofficial stats rundown: 547 events worldwide at time of recording, including 71 rejoining from Poland and 308 in Australia; two launches (Poland and Valentine Peak, USA); 4,648 PBs and 1,076 first-timers; milestone counts; new ACT and NT Territorians; Wilson Index and most-events movers. Then the announcement teased in the show notes, "This, for the last time, has been The Informant... I'm afraid I'm retiring from public life... I am hereby permanently handing over the presentation role to someone better sit... well, someone else." He says he will keep crunching the numbers in the background. The hosts react, saying management gave them no warning, and invite applications for the reading role.

• Episode 238 - Baked Goods

  Unofficial weekly stats, delivered in character after a two-week absence (the intern had been standing in). 482 events worldwide submitted results, 341 down under, 308 in Australia (still missing Victoria) and 33 in New Zealand, 86 in Russia, 21 USA, 20 South Africa, 11 Japan, 3 UK territories. Launches at South Para Reservoir (SA) and Buzuluk Pashkina (Russia). Australia/NZ attendance up about 2,500 to 34,517 of 41,301 worldwide; 5,130 PBs; 1,242 first-timers; 88 junior 10s, 171 fifties, 91 hundreds (down 20%), 16 two-fifties. 20 people called bingo. New ACT and NT territorians listed, David Brockway finished his New Zealand South Island quest, Errol Poole moved to eighth on the most-events list, Erica Liotta up 11 places to 232, and Jane Colvin doubled her Wilson index from 7 to 14. Signs off "my spreadsheet is bigger than yours."

• Episode 237 - Emma Keer

  Two-part stats bit. First the Intern breaks into the Informant's office to nick a Kit Kat, finds his computer unlocked and files the weekly report early: 449 events worldwide, 302 in Australia, 33 in New Zealand, seven more USA events back (17 total), launches at The Avenues (SA) and Canyon Rim Trail (US), 32,038 Aussie/NZ runners of 37,554 worldwide, 4,844 PBs, 1,056 first-timers, plus milestone, bingo and Wilson Index rundowns. Then the Informant himself returns to point out the South African download was still running, adds 25 South African events, 977 runners, 97 PBs and 82 first-timers, and notes he is owed a Kit Kat.

• Episode 236 - Snot Logs & A-Listers

  The anonymous stats segment. 539 events worldwide submitted results (395 Australia, 33 New Zealand, 10 USA, plus Japan, Russia and remote UK territories); no launches. ANZ attendance up ~3,000 to 43,042 of 48,256 worldwide; 6,574 PBs; 1,583 first-timers; 138 junior 10s, 189 fifties, 137 hundreds, 30 two-fifties. 22 called bingo (Lisa Williams quickest on 174 events, Liz Manson slowest on 313). Eight new ACT Territorians, two new NT completers, two new Victorian statespeople. Biggest Wilson mover Jeff Whiffen (+72). Feature on the US return (561 runners, down ~10% pre-COVID) and on longest waits between milestones, Andrew McKelvey 2,366 days 49-to-50, Julie Drummond 5,562 days to her 50. Interrupted mid-segment by solar-panel salesmen at the door.

• Episode 235 - Hi-Vis Heroes

  Unofficial weekly stats rundown, returning after an absence covered by "the agency casual", "Yes folks, I am back, and the stats are back". 530 events worldwide submitted results (398 Australia, 33 New Zealand); no launches; participation dropping, blamed on colder weather and the start of junior sporting codes. 40,156 of 45,080 runners were in Australia and New Zealand, with 5,958 PBs and 1,525 first-timers; 87 Junior 10, 199 fifty, 124 hundred and 19 two-fifty milestones; 13 people called bingo (Bronte Smith quickest at 166 events, Nicole Schultz slowest at 348). Ends with the Most Aussie NZ events list, Errol Poole up one to 9th, Jason Vela the biggest Wilson mover, and the plug for theinformant.me.

• Episode 234 - Mothers Day

  The Informant is absent again, the hosts joke about HR, a pay dispute and "extended leave", so the stand-in character 'the Agency Casual' delivers the weekly stats: Australia 42,811 runners across 394 events (up 2,725, average 109); New Zealand 3,735 across 32 events (down 296, average 117). Largest events New Farm 446, South Bank 429, The Ponds 391; in NZ Hagley 330, Cornwall Park 264, Lower Hutt 264. Three 250 milestones in Australia (Brie Broussard at Westerfolds, Glenn Claydon at Lilydale Lake, Diane Colerady at Petrie), plus 117 100s and 197 50s. Fastest females: Alexandra Blake 16:44 PB at Kedron, Victoria Mitchell 17:12 course record at Wangaratta, Lauren Reid 17:39 at Orange; NZ Hannah Oldroyd 17:11 at Hagley, Nancy Xieng 19:00 at Queenstown, Pip Mio 19:10 at Western Springs. Fastest males: Gordon McClemon 14:52 PB at Kirra, Dale Zabioa 15:35 PB at Rockingham, Brandon Martin 15:38 course record at Bathurst; NZ Palmerston North 14:58, Fabian Downs 15:38 at Millwater, Samuel Kenoch Walden 16:03 PB at Cornwall Park. Signs off pinching the Informant's beer from the fridge.

• Episode 233 - Autumnal Adventures

  The weekly stats rundown, delivered this week by a stand-in character: "This is the agency casual. The informant is on unpaid leave this week while he gets his issues sorted out with HR." Covers 394 Australian parkrun events with 39,956 runners (down 1,465) averaging 33:17; ten new 250 shirts; fastest males and females in Australia and New Zealand; and the three largest Australian events (New Farm 438, Albert Melbourne 430, The Ponds 401), before cutting itself short, "Being an agency casual, that's all the stats I'm going to give you." The hosts then discuss keeping the casual on standby in case the Informant does not return.

• Episode 231 - The one with the bird

  Weekly stats report delivered in character, "This is the informant. These are artificial stats.", with the Intern interrupting throughout (an argument about who was told to post the blog, and about whether being on 1 on the Wilson Index means she is winning). Reports 425 events in Australia and New Zealand out of 512 worldwide, 47,886 participants, 7,451 PBs, 2,026 first-timers, milestone counts, eight new Territorians, and one launch at Weyland [Whalan?] Reserve, NSW. Answers the episode's running question, the Informant was not at palm.

• Episode 230 - Stepping up

  Unofficial weekly stats: 411 events in Australia and New Zealand, 503 worldwide; one new launch in Russia; 48,232 A/NZ participants of 53,114 worldwide, down about 3,000 on the week; 6,180 PBs; 1,996 first-timers; milestone counts; 16 people called bingo (John Young longest at 341 events); new statespeople across the ACT, NT and Victoria; three South Island completions and Dean King completing all 33 New Zealand events; Aaron Harvey equal 6th on the most-Aussie-events list; Steve Harris the biggest weekly mover. Runs throughout as a comic two-hander with the Intern, who has returned the Informant's car empty of fuel and with the seat and radio changed, the office-tension storyline flagged in the show notes, ending with "I can literally get anyone to come in and do your job."

• Episode 229 - King & Queen of the mountain

  The Informant is away for Easter and an unnamed "intern" persona delivers the weekly stats instead: 417 Down Under events and a post-COVID record 508 worldwide, 50,763 participants across Australia and New Zealand, 7,176 PBs, 2,459 first-timers, milestone counts, 16 people calling bingo (Ross DeBoer took 278 events, Danielle Stasinowski 169), ten new statespeople, Wilson Index movers and Carol Perez still the highest Wilson indexer on 173. Hosts respond that the Informant "did not use official channels to request leave" but that the intern was "less grumpy and less sassy".

• Episode 228 - Bookrun

  Closing unofficial-stats rundown: one launch (Avondale University College, Cooranbong NSW); 442 events worldwide, 390 in Australia and New Zealand, 44,491 runners; 6,450 PBs and 1,642 first-timers; milestone counts; Peter Walker longest to 304 events and Jared Gibson quickest to 100 (an Australia/NZ record); seven new statespeople; movements on the most-events and Wilson Index tables, with Carol Parise still highest windexer on 172. Closes by fact-checking Ollie and Mel's on-air scepticism from last week about Brian Peters having run more events than Main Beach has held, working through 486 non-COVID Saturdays to 479 runs.

• Episode 227 - Smorgasbord

  Weekly unofficial stats bulletin: no launches, 445 events worldwide (396 in Australia and New Zealand), 40,185 down-under runners, 5,836 PBs, milestone counts including the new junior 10 stat, 12 new or returning statespeople, Wilson Index movers (including an "ex-podcast host division" note that Scott Trickett jumped nine places to 22, one behind Mel Erbacher). Then answers Cameron Drake's listener question on p-index and most runs at a single event: Mark Malone with 403 of Lower Hutt's 450, Brian Peters with 449 of Main Beach's 470, the "passionista" tables, and a p-index leaderboard topped by Cassie Hughes and Craig Robertson on 11.

• Episode 226 - Crackerjack

  Pre-recorded unofficial stats rundown: one Victorian launch (Puckapunyal, closed to the public), New Zealand back, 463 events worldwide, 50,813 runners, 7,018 PBs, 2,261 first-timers, milestone counts, and a new regular sub-feature on bingo callers (23 last weekend, second-highest ever). New/returning statespeople listed, biggest movers on the Most Aussie/NZ Events list, Wilson index movers. Then a listener question from Bruce Purdy (asked while "park faffing" with Brendan Peel): how many people have run the first 10 Australian events, answer three (Neil Barnett, Ros and Alan Burrell). Off the back of it the Informant coins a new index, the III, the Ignoble Informant Index, counting your unbroken run of Australian events in launch order from Main Beach. Blog plugged at theinformant.me.

• Episode 225 - Who let the dogs out?

  The regular unofficial-stats bulletin, handed over as "our regular source of the parkrun facts that you may have missed". One event launched (Cascades on Clyde Wetlands, Victoria); 429 events worldwide with New Zealand in lockdown; 48,271 runners; 7,633 PBs; milestone counts; Most Aussie/NZ Events leaderboard shuffle; biggest Wilson mover Ian Kraska, 27 to 109. Issues a correction that Michael Charlton is in fact an ACT runner with Tuggeranong as home, explaining that the stats use most-attended event and Charlton has 107 events at 107 different locations. Answers Jack Cork's listener question on stopwatch bingo (fastest 114 runs, slowest 404, average 220 against a theoretical 280). Signs off with the blog plug theinformant.me and "my spreadsheet is bigger than yours".

• Episode 224 - Madness & Mystery

  Anonymous unofficial-stats bulletin: no launches worldwide, a post-COVID record 457 events worldwide and 417 across Australia/New Zealand, 51,008 down-under finishers, 7,712 PBs, plus milestone counts. Runs through 11 new statespeople (including Melissa Ellis at Louis Hamon Park), the Most Aussie/NZ Events movers and Wilson Index movers, then answers Brendan Peel's listener challenge on which state has the most Cowell Club members, Queensland and Victoria tied on 31, New South Wales third on 20. Signs off "my spreadsheet is bigger than yours." Returns as Mel's phone-a-friend during March Madness, comically inflating the number of parkruns in Australia from 387 to 412.

• Episode 223 - Abigail

  The anonymous weekly stats segment, 00:24:51-00:28:03. No event launches worldwide; 447 events ran globally, 412 in Australia and New Zealand; just under 50k participants (49,946); a post-COVID record 7,134 PBs; 2,420 first-timers; 223 hit 50, 110 hit 100, 11 hit 250. Includes new statesmen/territorians for the ACT (10), NT (4) and SA, and Most Aussie/NZ Events movers. Hosts note afterwards he sounded "a little bit more relaxed this week, not as surly as normal."

• Episode 222 - Crickets

  Anonymous unofficial-stats segment. No event launches worldwide that week and all Victorian events cancelled by the COVID lockdown; 338 events worldwide, 299 in Australia and New Zealand, 37,355 participants (down about 13,500), 5,572 PBs, 1,986 first-timers, and 50/100/250 milestone counts. New statespeople listed for the ACT, NT and New Zealand, plus Most Aussie/NZ Events movers. The feature is a Wilson Index comparison by state - highest per state and state averages - prompted by forum talk, with a dig at Ollie's own index. Sign-off: "my spreadsheet is bigger than yours."

• Episode 221 - parkrun Royale

  The anonymous weekly unofficial-stats rundown: five worldwide launches (four in NSW, one in Queensland), 418 events run worldwide, 384 in Australia and New Zealand, 50,798 runners down under, a post-COVID record 7,113 PBs and a post-COVID record 29 people reaching 250. Sign-off: "my spreadsheet is bigger than yours".

• Episode 220 - parkrun fun

  The Informant's weekly unofficial stats rundown, in the usual formula ("These are unofficial stats... with a 100% chance of an error from time to time", signing off "my spreadsheet is bigger than yours"). Three launches worldwide (two in Victoria, one in NZ's North Island), 440 events worldwide and 407 in Australia and New Zealand, 54,298 finishers, 6,845 PBs, 2,952 first-timers, and milestone counts. The bulk of it this week is a rebuttal to Cameron Drake's on-air challenge from Canning River: the Informant computes the total return distance needed to become a statesperson in each state as the bird of that state "flies", WA 13,157km, Victoria 19,474km, NSW 37,508km, Queensland 61,135km, SA 5,942km, Tasmania 4,532km, ACT 179km, NT 50km, and concludes "Time for loyal listener to go back and play in the sand." Mel's verdict: "the informant is getting some attitude, Ollie", which the show notes echo.

• Episode 219 - Lauren Reid

  The anonymous stats segment, opening with its standard disclaimer ("These are unofficial stats... with a 100% chance of an error from time to time") and closing with "my spreadsheet is bigger than yours". No event launches worldwide this week, so still 432 current events (32 New Zealand, 400 Australia including nine prison events); 435 events ran, 54,665 runners (up ~2,500 on last week's record), average attendance 135, 6,765 PBs, 3,211 first-timers, 263 fifty-milestones, 137 hundreds and 16 two-fifties. Cape Pembroke Lighthouse is excluded, and one event was cancelled for high fire danger. Trailed earlier at 00:06:59 when the hosts set it "homework" to count parkruns near Australia's Big Things.

• Episode 218 - Alison King

  Anonymous unofficial weekly stats rundown. Events down under up to 432 with the launches of Lake Boga Foreshore (Vic) and SS Cooper Trail (Qld), plus the Eynesbury Heritage Trail junior parkrun launch; 393 events run in Australia and New Zealand, up from 257; 52,076 runners at an average of 132 per event; Victorian-only figures for the first weekend back compared against 14 March 2020; national milestone counts; and the statespeople movements. Signs off "my spreadsheet is bigger than yours."

• Episode 217 - The Informant

  Debut of a new anonymous stats segment ("Plus, The Informant makes his debut!" per the show notes). Oliver Spake first reads a potted, deliberately vague background on the mystery contributor, casual parkrunner 2013, routine 2014, tourist late 2015, obsessed with lists and numbers 2016, "certifiable lunatic status" 2017, green shirt, 100+ locations, three foreign holidays planned purely for parkrun, three years living in Auckland. The Informant's own recorded block then delivers unofficial stats: 430 events down under (32 New Zealand, 389 public Australian, 9 active prison events); 257 events run in Australia and New Zealand this week plus 25 from Japan, Russia and Cape Pembroke in the Falklands; 29,536 runners at an average of 115 per event, 1,636 first timers, 152 fifty-milestones, 74 hundreds, 14 two-fifties. He then declares the North and South Islands to be "states" and congratulates new statesmen: Peter Thomson, Gordon Calcino, Stephen Miners and Jay Trevena (ACT); Claire Marie O'Brien, Matt Costello, Imogen Ryan, Emily Jane Taylor and Christine Hurren (Northern Territory); Linda Doty (all North Island events, at Waikato); Hayden Johnson (all South Island events, at Wanaka); and Aaron Hardy as the only current New South Wales statesman. Sign-off: "my spreadsheet is bigger than yours." The hosts afterwards relay his two questions for New Zealand listeners (are there prison events? are there retired events?) and invite listeners to request fact-checks in the comments on the episode's Facebook post.

• Episode 216 - Zoom zoom

  Stats supplied by the show's anonymous 'informant': 10,207 parkrunners across Australia on New Year's Day 2021, down from 38,754 in 2020 (partly the end of the New Year's Day double); and on the Saturday, 254 Australian events (17 more than the previous week, a net figure blending NSW events returning against others stood down for the Sydney COVID outbreak) with 32,854 parkrunners, up roughly 11,000 on the previous week's 20,904. Prompts a discussion of parkrun globally ending the New Year's Day double.